I’m back. But I wouldn’t say better than ever

I am utterly shocked that I haven’t blogged for “pleasure” since the summer. I mean, blogging my photo shoots and such over at erynephotography is still for pleasure, but I haven’t blogged my thoughts and feelings in quite sometime. I guess now is as good a time as any.

I am not going to update you on my life in this post; that isn’t what this blog is about. When I started it, it was strictly to blog thoughts, feelings, observances and such, it quickly became a way to express my photography (which I am sure there will still be a bit in here, just not photo shoots). And then I went dark. (Unless you continued to follow my photo shoots on the new site).

But I am back. And what has brought me back to the blogosphere is not necessarily as a good thing.

Newtown, Connecticut. It will never again be just a small town in Connecticut, but will forever more be known as the town where an absolutely horrific massacre occurred just days before Christmas. Just like everyone else in the country, I was sickened by the horror that was unfolding before my eyes. Unfortunately, social media becomes a blessing and a curse in cases like this. While it’s great to get constant updates, you must also contend with untrue facts and even more evident, having something so awful constantly in front of your face.

That night, I couldn’t stand to watch the news. Not because I didn’t want to listen to everything unfolding, but because I couldn’t bear to watch the images of those children and their teachers running from the school with their eyes shut, I couldn’t bear to see another picture of a grieving parent, child or law enforcement officer. The images were some of the most painful I have seen in my existence; quite possibly up there with 9/11. Despite not being able to watch it, I mourned for those families. Not just for the ones who lost a loved one that day, but also for those who survived because the wounds they suffered that day will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

I’m trying very hard to walk the line here between ranting/preaching and purely expressing my own grief to this horrible event. I am not going to compare it to any other mass shooting because quite honestly, you can’t. When else in the history of the US has a gunmen walked into an elementsry school for a reason the authorities have yet to determine and murdered children? I am pretty sure the answer is never.

Just in 2012 alone we witnessed a shooting at a movie theater, a mall and now an elementary school. All places where joy, entertainment and a sense of escape and youthfulness come into play.

But I digress, enough preaching. The day after Newtown, I was at the barn, teaching my
adorable kids riding lessons. And I made sure to praise each of them and high five them and enjoy each of their individual stories, jokes and laughter. And we never discussed the events that happened the day before. It was not necessary. We all knew and we just smiled and gave those extra hugs and high fives. It made all of us feel a tiny bit better.

So to Newtown; my deepest sympathy and condolences to everyone affected by this horrific tragedy. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

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One thought on “I’m back. But I wouldn’t say better than ever

  1. I’ve read so many posts like this the past few days and they’re all the same in that everyone is struggling with what to say. We’re all so consumed with overwhelming emotions (whether sad, angry, confused), there just aren’t words to describe it all 😦

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